Start talking about your life differently if you want to improve it. How you characterise yourself and the things that are significant to you determine your level of wellbeing.
Imagine moving to a new city with your family when you were 12 years old. You transferred to a new school, where you experienced your first incident of bullying. How would you sum up this current stage of your life? one of the several occasions when something went wrong? or adversity that had a happy ending? It turns out that this affects a lot of things.
This Is Your Life was a highly well-liked programme on both British and American television in the 1950s. Looking through the red book, which contained the dates, significant happenings, and recollections gathered beforehand by the program's producers, the presenter gave the visitor a biography of himself. Such a crimson book of our own lives exists in everyone of our heads. And frequently, we overfill it without even realising it.
Whether we are aware of own narratives (stories about ourselves) or not, they still exist. They give our lives purpose and serve as the cornerstone of self-awareness.
You are your tale
The tales we make about ourselves "reveal, generate, and sustain us throughout our lives," according to psychologist Kate McLean. In her work, she investigates the intriguing notion that these own tales, despite the fact that we alter and add to them continuously, include steadfast components that showcase our inner selves and the core aspects of our personalities.
Dan McAdams, a pioneer in personality psychology and a colleague of McLean's, wrote about this approximately 20 years ago. He asserts that people differ from one another not just in terms of personality qualities but also in terms of how they structure their stories.
These own stories have key aspects , the differences in which define each of us: agency, community, valency, positive and negative meaning formation, and more. To identify the most important ones, McLean and colleagues conducted several studies involving about 1,000 participants.
They covered a certain episode from their lives or told a whole story that summarized their lives. After a thorough analysis, scientists came to the conclusion that there are three main aspects that characterize the own narrative of each person .
emotive and inspirational themes This characteristic reveals the narrator's independence, interpersonal relationships, and general sense of optimism or pessimism.
autobiographical conjectures They reveal how much we reflect on the incidents from our story, if we give them meaning, whether we see connections between significant incidents and how we have evolved.
Structure. The consistency of history across time in terms of dates, facts, and context is its coherence.
Own narrative, however, goes beyond what we say to others. Our mental health and general wellbeing are impacted. Positive storytellers tend to be happier overall and have less mental health issues than negative storytellers ("I lost my job, but transferred to another profession, and what I do now, I like it much more," "I was mocked at a new school, but I met my closest friend there," etc.).
The same holds true for individuals who have a feeling of active participation in their own narrative as well as for those who exhibit a stronger sense of community with those around them. He frequently adds events involving family, friends, or shared interests in his stories, for instance.
Naturally, the issue is raised: Can you alter your own story in order to alter both yourself and your life? In order to help people reassess their own past in a more constructive way, narrative therapy draws on this. Do not forget that the very red book in your head is only a draught and not the finished product.
Your narrative is flexible.
This finding was reached when the researchers tested "redemptive" tales. The participants were asked to recount an instance in which failure resulted in positive transformation. The test subjects believed they were more purposeful than the control group, which did not receive this task, and they responded to the interview questions by saying they always finish what they start. Even a few weeks later, it was still there.
These findings show that people's future lives may be affected by changes in how they perceive and discuss significant events in the past, according to the study's authors. They go on to demonstrate that own story may be altered.
Philosophers have consistently asserted that we create our universe and ourselves. Psychotherapists frequently apply this idea to aid a patient in overcoming a specific fear. However, you can use this strategy in everyday life to take control of the narrative you want to write.
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